Propounded imbroglio, sub rosa.
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2005-05-14 - 9:17 p.m.
Chronological list of Scott's pets 1. Fluffybum - the fluffy persian-ish cat. Colour: tortoiseshell-ish. Personality - like a dog. Dribbled in old age. Would follow Scott to school. Well loved by all family members. 2. "The Goat" (Scott can't recall the name) - goat - angora. The big dickheads from over the fence shaved him. He ate a lot of stuff including part of a caravan. He "went to live on a farm". No, he actually did. Scott was able to visit him. 3. Lizzie - the skink. She was the school skink and Scott was allowed to keep her over the Christmas holidays. She broke out of Scott's room and disappeared. He thinks the cat (Fluffybum) ate her. Not well liked, or missed frankly. 4. Whistling tree frog (un-named). Grandma and Granddad got it for Scott. He left it outside in the frost and it died. May or may not have been flushed down the toilet. 5. Snuffleuppagus AKA Snuffy - Collie-cross dog. Scott's first dog, he was very attached to her. She got put down because she would attack anyone who went near Scott. Missed very much by Scott, he accused his Mum and Dad of being "murderers" and slammed thier bedroom door. 6. Beau - Labrador-Spaniel cross. Named after Beau from The Dukes of Hazzard. Ate a light bulb. Loved chasing ducks. Would dry-hump little blonde boys. Would sniff on command. Scott was training him to be a drug dog by hiding dog biscuits around the backyard for him to find. Could jump over a 1.5 metre fence. Got hit by a car and had to have his left front leg amputated. Would fall over when told to "shake hands". He'd nearly drown anytime in the water as he couldn't swim well with three legs. Scott would jump in and rescue him. Beau was never very good friends with Fluffybum. Died about five years ago, heart attack. 7. Count Belisarius - brown rat. Scott's first pet as an adult. Scott got him because he was afraid of rats. Went to University with Scott. Count Ballisarius would watch "Shortland Street" with everyone in the flat and leap at the screen whenever Kirsty Knight came on. Fond of Brazil nuts in thier shells. Had a home-made four-storey rat house. Would play soccer with Paul's rat Vassago (also University educated). Count Belisarius died after surgery to fix a broken leg. 8. Simon Magus - Champagne Hooded rat. Lived in fear in a flat full of cats. Really liked chocolate milk. Died of a heart attack at one year old. 9. Wedge Antilles - goldfish. One of six. May or not be the sole survivor, in the pond in Scott's garden. Scott hears him splashing occasionally. 10. Machiavelli - cat. Current pet. Black and fluffy. Considers himself "one of the crew". Vain. Most famous cat on Constitution St. Well-loved by all. Sleeps in at least three houses. Wear black studded collar. Excels at mid-air acrobatics. Has been known to poo underneath books. Licks Scott's eyelids in the morning to wake him. Knows what time Scott needs to wake up, so wakes him an hour before that time.
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